SOTU the First
Mar. 4th, 2011 02:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stigmateyesI am in an essay mood so I shall discuss the Ryner.
Ryner did not enter Aather in the greatest of states. His first memory made him seriously doubt himself, his trustworthiness and his own memories. Canonically, Ryner has two methods of dealing with emotional hangsup: people he trusts (Ferris kicks his ass; Sion tells him he deserves another chance) or detachment. At first, Ryner chose the latter, trying to concentrate all his attention on finding out more about Aather and keeping his interactions brief and impersonal. While he was encouraged by the idea that everyone might be Aather's salvation, he remains extremely wary of the Personae. He had the added fun of learning about Three's dangerous game pretty early on so that put him on edge.
Once he started getting some memories back, Ryner's uncertainty faded and he became more willing to fully engage and share with others. Some bad things were still going down on the edges, but Ryner decided he would do what it takes to help this time. And with this change, team started to have more importance to him, as did the people on it. Which comes with its own problems. As his memories have stayed largely positive, Ryner's enthusiasm and desire to believe in the best have continued, even as he deals with some fairly sketchy types and the threat of more imposing games.
But Ryner is far from without concern. The constant lack of honesty shown among his team worries him because he wonders if the Personae may seek to use it. Also, his reconsidering just how much is falling on Tide. He is also unsure what it means that he used to be some kind of elite soldier, considering that he ended up in prison for several years. It bothers him severely that he cannot summon the magic that seemed to come so naturally to him in his memories, especially since he thinks such magic could be extremely useful to the people here. He is worried about Ariel and her actions with Acedia, just as he is worried about the actual ability of the knights to maintain order here. And that translates to worry for Sleeping Beauty, who seems to be caught in the mix of things.
Then there is Sion. While Sion is a perpetual frustration to Ryner, he knows he's important from his memories and he understands that Sion is genuinely a kind person who just likes to cause mischief. And make his life hell. But he also recognizes that something is WRONG with Sion, something that he can't understand. His only solution to this is to insist Sion take it easy now and then. It bothers him to no end that Sion refuses to slow down when it's so clearly taking its toll on Sion. It does help that Sion assures him that whatever happened to him in the past, it was not Ryner's fault. Sion is very much the "voice of reason" that Ryner needs to stop from falling into his self-doubt and self-resentment. Because he offers the solid evidence that nobody else in Aather can. Memories.
Ryner only reveals these concerns in bits and pieces, not keen on burdening others with his troubles and not keen (yet) on forcing others to face theirs. He prefers the calm, the amusing and the analytical. But he's also becoming increasingly aware that he can't quite stay on the sidelines if he's receiving skills that might actually be of use to people so he is working on understanding said skills to see if he can translate them to others. This is resulting him in being somewhat more proactive and showing the will to DO STUFF.
The problem is that any and all of these things can take a dramatic shift should Ryner be given memories that make him question his safety among others or that bring back his jaded outlook. Magic plays a role in this as the chance for others having it becomes more prevalent. Ryner has already reacted to it twice thus far, once with it capturing his (Alpha Stigma's) attention when Victory attempted it and once with it causing his Alpha Stigma to attempt activation and merely cause him pain when Cinnamon healed the bird. While Ryner is partially aware of these circumstances, he will probably start making connections should they reoccur.
And Ryner has damn good reason to fear himself.
As far as why Ryner refuses to use his name around anyone but Sion, Ryner is still not sure he wants to be Ryner. Night is safe. Night is who he knows right now. Also, due to Ryner's tendency to define himself through others, he naturally trends toward the name that was chosen for him. He allows Sion the privilege because, as said above, Sion is Ryner's proof that he is wrong to fear his memories, which he very much wants to believe. But yeah, Night does not think of himself as Ryner anymore than Ryner would think of himself as Feruna.
Ryner did not enter Aather in the greatest of states. His first memory made him seriously doubt himself, his trustworthiness and his own memories. Canonically, Ryner has two methods of dealing with emotional hangsup: people he trusts (Ferris kicks his ass; Sion tells him he deserves another chance) or detachment. At first, Ryner chose the latter, trying to concentrate all his attention on finding out more about Aather and keeping his interactions brief and impersonal. While he was encouraged by the idea that everyone might be Aather's salvation, he remains extremely wary of the Personae. He had the added fun of learning about Three's dangerous game pretty early on so that put him on edge.
Once he started getting some memories back, Ryner's uncertainty faded and he became more willing to fully engage and share with others. Some bad things were still going down on the edges, but Ryner decided he would do what it takes to help this time. And with this change, team started to have more importance to him, as did the people on it. Which comes with its own problems. As his memories have stayed largely positive, Ryner's enthusiasm and desire to believe in the best have continued, even as he deals with some fairly sketchy types and the threat of more imposing games.
But Ryner is far from without concern. The constant lack of honesty shown among his team worries him because he wonders if the Personae may seek to use it. Also, his reconsidering just how much is falling on Tide. He is also unsure what it means that he used to be some kind of elite soldier, considering that he ended up in prison for several years. It bothers him severely that he cannot summon the magic that seemed to come so naturally to him in his memories, especially since he thinks such magic could be extremely useful to the people here. He is worried about Ariel and her actions with Acedia, just as he is worried about the actual ability of the knights to maintain order here. And that translates to worry for Sleeping Beauty, who seems to be caught in the mix of things.
Then there is Sion. While Sion is a perpetual frustration to Ryner, he knows he's important from his memories and he understands that Sion is genuinely a kind person who just likes to cause mischief. And make his life hell. But he also recognizes that something is WRONG with Sion, something that he can't understand. His only solution to this is to insist Sion take it easy now and then. It bothers him to no end that Sion refuses to slow down when it's so clearly taking its toll on Sion. It does help that Sion assures him that whatever happened to him in the past, it was not Ryner's fault. Sion is very much the "voice of reason" that Ryner needs to stop from falling into his self-doubt and self-resentment. Because he offers the solid evidence that nobody else in Aather can. Memories.
Ryner only reveals these concerns in bits and pieces, not keen on burdening others with his troubles and not keen (yet) on forcing others to face theirs. He prefers the calm, the amusing and the analytical. But he's also becoming increasingly aware that he can't quite stay on the sidelines if he's receiving skills that might actually be of use to people so he is working on understanding said skills to see if he can translate them to others. This is resulting him in being somewhat more proactive and showing the will to DO STUFF.
The problem is that any and all of these things can take a dramatic shift should Ryner be given memories that make him question his safety among others or that bring back his jaded outlook. Magic plays a role in this as the chance for others having it becomes more prevalent. Ryner has already reacted to it twice thus far, once with it capturing his (Alpha Stigma's) attention when Victory attempted it and once with it causing his Alpha Stigma to attempt activation and merely cause him pain when Cinnamon healed the bird. While Ryner is partially aware of these circumstances, he will probably start making connections should they reoccur.
And Ryner has damn good reason to fear himself.
As far as why Ryner refuses to use his name around anyone but Sion, Ryner is still not sure he wants to be Ryner. Night is safe. Night is who he knows right now. Also, due to Ryner's tendency to define himself through others, he naturally trends toward the name that was chosen for him. He allows Sion the privilege because, as said above, Sion is Ryner's proof that he is wrong to fear his memories, which he very much wants to believe. But yeah, Night does not think of himself as Ryner anymore than Ryner would think of himself as Feruna.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-05 07:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-05 07:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-05 08:06 am (UTC)Sion knows that Ryner will remember that part sooner or later. He will just try to be around when he does so he can knock some sense into his head. Of course, Sion is completely unaware of Alpha Stigma and what it does. He is acting on his fundamental belief that Ryner is a good person.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-05 08:13 am (UTC)Until I try to strangle you, man. Which I might. POSSIBLY IN A GAME.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-05 08:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-05 08:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-05 08:47 am (UTC)But just in case... I totally forgive you if you end up strangling me. < <
no subject
Date: 2011-03-05 08:49 am (UTC)